Dhamma Day: Hell with Valentines

Well...Yeah.

Valentines Day is coming round the corner like one big moma you can't ignore. Try looking away, looking straight at her, hell, even looking at the puddle at your feet. It won't work, muchacho. 'Cause you know why? I'll tell you why. You're not the only one who can't help noticing her, people will point, talk, glance and blatantly ignore. Some will think "Hey, now that's a real woman....Dayumm" A select few will act all disgusted...Jerks. And others might try to pretend like they're all above the hype. "Oh...another chubbitto? Yawn...What's all the fuss about? Tsk tsk" But even then, they can't deny that it's there. They noticed it. And now they can't stop noticing it. Oh, and by "they", I mean "you." And "me"

This is, or course, a vague exemplification. What I really meant to say was: Try as you may, you cannot ignore Valentines Day. People will blog about it, print articles about it, talk about it, they will date and make out like it's the end of the world, sell chocolate candy, cotton bunnies, heart shaped lollipops...It's like a friggin Willy Wonka Factory whenever Febuary draws near.

So instead of posting the usual topics ("Five things to get for your girl", "Favorite valentines gift", "Going out with my boy" etc.) that will inevitably be popping up across the web as Febuary the 14th draws near, I thought I'd share some dhamma by Ajahn Brahm for the couples AND single people out there. It's time to remember what love really is, that soulmates don't have to get married, and that love is in the air.

For everyone.

~xXXx~

"The trouble with romance is that when the fantasy is dispelled, the ensuing disappointment can badly hurt us. In romantic love (As opposed to true love) we don't really love our partner; we only love the way they make us feel. It is the "high" we feel in their presence that we love. Which is why, when they are absent, we miss them, yearn for them, want to be with them. But like any high, it wears out after a while.

True love is selfless love. We are concerned only for the other person. We tell them, "The door of my heart will always be open to you, whatever you do" and we mean it. We just want them to be happy. True love is rare.

Many of us like to think that our special relationship is true love, not romantic love. Here's a test for you to discover which type of love it is:

Think of your partner. Picture them in your mind. Recall the day you came together and the wonderful times you have enjoyed ever since. Now imagine receiving a letter from you partner. It tells you that they have fallen deeply in love with your best friend, and the two of them have run away to live together. How would you feel?

If it were true love, you would be thrilled that your partner had found someone even better than you, and is now even more happy. You would be delighted that your partner and best friend were having a good time together. You'd be ecstatic that they were in love. Isn't your partner's happiness the more important thing in true love?

Like I said, true love is rare

A queen was looking through the palace window at the Buddha walking for alms in the city. The king saw her and grew jealous of her devotion to the Great Monk. He confronted the queen and demanded to know who she loved the most, the Buddha or her husband? She was a devoted disciple of the Buddha, but in those days you had to be very careful if your husband happened to be the king. Losing your head meant losing your head. She kept her head and replied with endearing honesty "I love myself more than the both of you."

~xXXx~

So there's something to think about, this pink fluffy day of chocos. Happy V-Day, y'all!!