Five awesome ways to cheat in a test

Because you can't spell Studying
without Dying. Get it?
See what I did there? See it?

Hello, new start of the week and HELLO fellow friendly, furry and ferociously funny readers. I'm back! Woohoo! Anyone miss me while I'm gone? Anyone? At all? No?

That sucks.

But if you have stuck around long enough to read about the my brother's awful girlfriend [Read] and his account of pervy hooded ghosts visiting him at night [Also read. Why the heck not, right?], then you should know by now that I've been taking my SPM (The academic equivalent of O-levels and GCSE for all my British, uh, peeps.) while my brother slaves over his laptop, filling in my weekly blog quota and I stand behind him with a whip in hand, Chemistry book in other and shouting at him if he would God Darn It, Start Learning The Proper Use Of Punctuation.

And you know what else sucks?

Exams suck. 

I've never been more adamant about this fact until last week when I realized that seventy percent of what I've been cramming so bleep bleep bleepity bleep hard for will be completely and utterly obsolete in 18 days.

Take last week's paper for example, what the bong am I going to do with 36 moral values and their definitions? Screw the definitions. I could get a hundred marks and still go rob an old lady the next day (just saying of course). And because the government thought it was too easy to score, they decided 'Hey, just for the fun of it, you know like dissing Elton John and banning yoga, lets make sure that in order to get full  marks, these kids have to memorize EVERY SINGLE STINKING SENTENCE WORD BY WORD IN CORRECT SEQUENCE.'

But this isn't about me and my crusade against our academic syllabus, oh no. This is about me, my class and cheating.

There's nothing that brings a class closer together than a healthy round of collective cheating. And even though I've haven't cheated since fifth grade, that doesn't mean I can't appreciate the sight of teenagers helping each other out regardless of gender and race by slipping answer sheets throughout the class.

Not that I condone it of course. Cheating is dishonest, just like stealing and lying. If you cheat, you must be prepared to accept the consequences of cheating. It's a risk, and if you get caught, take full responsibility for your actions.

With that being said, here are a couple of really creative ways that people cheat.

1. The Coca-cola Bottle Method
It took mere days for this method to spread virally through the net. In fact, it's so well known that you've probably already heard of it and of course, takes a lot more effort and equipment than is actually necessarily. But the Coca-cola method gets top marks for pure ingenuity. Also, it's become an urban classic.

This picture pretty much say it all.

2. Paper Tape Method
Funnily enough, not many people try this out. Now I'm not sure why but because it just sounds so effective, I decided to share it. 

You will need: 1 small roll of paper tape and a pen.

On the day before your exam, write down any formulas or notes on the UNDERSIDE (The sticky side. Not the one facing out. Only a moron would do that. ) of the tape. Aaaaand you're good to go. That's it. Pretty simple.

Or you could get some tape that insults people.

3. Strictly GIRLS ONLY method

Applicable if you 

1. Have boobs

2. Are desperate enough

Translated: Would you dare snatch this girl's cheat sheet?

4. Fingernail Method

So basically this is writing down the cheats on your fingernails. I've never heard of anyone actually doing it before but hey, the picture makes a nice visual

5. Another girl's only method

Basics still apply here of course. Write down what you're too lazy to memorize but not lazy enough to go through all the trouble on two pieces of paper. Slap them on your thighs and when you reach the question, ask to go to the toilet. Teachers usually let you out if you really really need to go. I suggest diarrhea.

*Note: Funny story. The one time I did try this method out, I realized that I didn't need to use it. I'd accidentally memorised everything I need to know while writing it down. Huh.

Well there you have it. All the best in your exams everybody and while these tips and tricks may sound cool, you definitely wont look it if you get caught. Yesterday a boy sitting next to me got caught while cheating (In his SPM for god's sake!) was dragged out of the hall, yelled at by our principle and not allowed to take the rest of his test. It's a gamble you'll have to be willing to take.

Everyone's allowed to cheat. Fact is, it''s a rite of passage. But well,

*Disclaimer: The owner of this blog says while these methods are tried and tested, they may not work for a pregnancy test

Big Question: Have YOU ever cheated? If yes, then when....and how?